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Sure, Herr Schumacher and his Ferrari didn't win, but it was still a boring race and Signor Fisichella led from start to finish in his Renault, after setting the pole time in qualifying.

Some things don't change and Schumacher managed to push young Heidfeld on to the grass. Surprise, surprise. Heidfeld's Williams couldn't stop on the Albert Park lawn and slid into the side of Schumacher's Ferrari at the next bend, putting both cars out.

The German press was not impressed, Bild headlining the story "Rambo Schumi". Sport 1 said: "His actions crown a miserable weekend." Formula One chiefs confirmed that no action will be taken against either driver after watching television replays of the incident.

Schumacher said of the incident: "I saw him behind me just as I came out of the pits and made it clear I was going to defend my position. It is optimistic of Nick to think that I am going to just let him pass inside me."

Bild asked: "Is Schumacher really that bad a loser?" Frankfurter Allgemeine commented: "Relaxed Schumi has no conscience."

We were told that changes were made, and they were. But somehow they bring to mind the old saying about rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. The new format qualifying was dead boring and the "race" was a great cure for insomnia.

Nicholas Cage was trotted out to be the celebrity of the day. If anything he was even more boring than the main event.

Australian driver Mark Webber also found the race boring, but blamed the ban on tyre changes, saying: "It's very hard to manipulate the stops [as] we could in the old days with new tyres and stops and things.

"It was just tough...I wanted to get through David [Coulthard] and get down the road and get on with the race, but as we know it's not easy to overtake."

Mark, it's not meant to be easy. Overtaking is supposed to be one of those skills for which you and all those other 19 blokes out there are being paid vast sums.

Australian Grand Prix chairman Ron Walker denied the race had been boring. He, and the Formula One chiefs must have been watching a different race from the one I saw.

The men who are responsible for this F1-asco should be dragged, kicking and screaming if necessary, to some real racing – spectacles that the fans really enjoy. There is plenty of choice. Top class sprint cars or midgets at almost any major speedway, most MotoGP races or the historic F1 cars at the Goodwood Revival meeting spring to mind.

All of the above have certain characteristics in common. The main one seems to be that the cars and bikes have more power than grip. None has traction control, except that provided by the accelerator pedal or twist grip and, apart from the amazing wings on some speedway cars, there is little or no aerodynamic downforce. The driver has to do everything, including shift the gears, control brake lock-up and strike a balance between power and traction.

Can the lessons be learned? Can something be done before Formula One goes down the gurgler? Only time will tell.